Do you have the headache of sorting out your wedding guest list? Do you want children at your wedding or not? Which family members do you invite to your wedding? Read on for five tips on handling guest politics.
Your parents or family may be trying to persuade you to invite a relative you have never met. You know those ‘second cousins or the Great Aunty that you have only seen once in your lifetime’. This is not the way forward for inviting guests to your wedding. This is an attempt to try to get around wedding guest list etiquette rules by saying, —"he or she won’t come anyway.” Don’t fall into this trap, as you may well find that they do come. Instead invite people who you really want at the wedding first, if they can’t come then you can consider who else to invite, a plan B list!
During wedding planning, it can get tense - your goal should be to maintain a good relationship with your in-laws during the wedding planning process. Even if you or your parent/s are contributing more money than your partners, you may still want to allow them to invite a certain number of guests. While there may be disputes as to who those people are, let your partner work with his or her parents to handle disagreements.
Even after taking these steps, proper wedding guest list etiquette may escape your parent/s or in-laws, who may think they have special rights. If your parent/s are trying to invite unwanted guests to your big day and your budget and venue can accommodate these additions, ask yourself the question: “What’s really the harm if they come?” If you think they’ll cause drama, make that strong case to your parent/s. But if they’re perfectly nice people whom you may not know that well, remember that they’ll be only a tiny part of a big group of loved ones. Look on the bright side and be honoured that these people want to take time out of their busy lives to celebrate with you. It’s definitely something to be grateful for. Wedding planning is not something to fall out with people over.
4. Plus one
Do you invite your friends' partner or new boyfriend at your wedding? If one of the people you want to invite is in a long-term relationship, it is fair to invite the partner if you get on with them, so include both names on the invitation. If you are open to a friend bringing a guest and you are happy to pay for that, then include the friend's name and guest, then asks them to confirm who it will be before the wedding. You will need the details if you are having a seat chart or place cards. If you are not allowing a plus one, be very clear that the invitation is only for the person named on the invitation. You could even consider a sentence to make that clear at the bottom of every invitation.
5. Do you want children at your wedding?
Most weddings are all-inclusive meaning all-ages events, I had children at my wedding. However, some people want a break from children at all (or part of) the wedding. Some of your guests will like this, others won't. It is your choice, so make it clear when sending invitations whether children are named on the invitation. Also, do think about how the children will be entertained. You can read my other blog post for a few tips on dealing with children at your wedding.
Wedding planning can be intense and dealing with the guest handling can be particularly difficult, as there are so many people to consider, so I hope this provides you with some wedding guest list tips to help. Overall please remember this is your wedding day, it is up to you to decide who comes to your wedding. There will always be some sort of wedding guest politics, it's how you handle it that matters. Keep calm, breathe and find a solution that you or your partner can live with.
If you need help or advice planning your wedding, get in touch with me.